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Lee Jason Elkins
Weymouth Black Death


August 13th
14:43:42 GMT
The Weymouth Tide
Nuts to the Cups!

The Black Death follow their impresive league form with terrible performances in the Origin Cup, 5 goals put past our normally decent defence and oinly a point to show. Pressure is on to get wins in at least two of the final three games.


1 Comments

David King - Unsporting Lisbon - August 18th - 11:43:22
Two wins will put you in contention for going through in 3rd but a draw for that final game or better a win would guarantee things.
Ellis Simpson
Elana Torun


August 13th
02:51:09 GMT
Poles Apart
Elana Nil's Next Appearances

More Evolution Cup pain with games against St Pauli and Orgullo.Some of the better players are fit again in time to put up a show. We won't go down to another pair of defeats without a fight! (And probably not without an injury, a dismissal, a bad penalty decision...)


0 Comments

Ellis Simpson
Elana Torun


August 13th
02:49:06 GMT
Poles Apart
The Elana Nil Saga Continues

A 1-0 loss (Tricolores) and a 4-0 loss (Gotham) pretty much ensure we have no more interest in this competition - not that we had much expectation. What we might be doing, however, is embarking an a saga of the longest losing run in league history. Based on the results and performances to date, we are in serious danger of going the whole season without avoiding defeat. Is that too pessimistic? You tell me.


0 Comments

Ellis Simpson
Elana Torun


August 13th
02:46:32 GMT
Poles Apart
Elana Nil v Gotham

Another Elana Nil performance. Another unsurprising loss. There could be a record about to be set for the consecutive number of losses.


0 Comments

Ellis Simpson
Elana Torun


August 13th
02:44:31 GMT
Poles Apart
Elana Nil v Tricolores

Another Elana Nil performance. Another unsurprising loss. The Tarrasch injury was the unwelcome bonus. What do we have to do to score a goal again? Let's not be ambitious and think about a win even!


0 Comments

Les Lithgo
Newkie Illuminati


August 12th
20:30:08 GMT
The Enlightened
Massive Disappointment

 

As a former winner of the competition we always want to give a good account of ourselves.

Last seasons humiliation only added to that wish - therefore the back to back 1-1 draws in the opening ties in this competition have not gine down well in the corridors of power... the manager could well be looking over his shoulder if results don't improve.


0 Comments

Steve Turner
Asteria Kromatos


August 12th
20:16:19 GMT
The Big Bang
Does my head in

Just looking st the NMR game. We had an 8% to 4% shot chance advantage but were outshot 7 to 2. Having said that we managed a 1-1 draw.

0 Comments

Ellis Simpson
Elana Torun


August 10th
02:50:54 GMT
Poles Apart
Evolution Cup

We would like to apologize to our opponents this session for the crime of impersonating a football team. So far, we have played like eleven lowly rated individuals. So, let's see if eleven lowly rated individuals can play better as a team.


0 Comments

Ellis Simpson
Elana Torun


August 10th
02:49:05 GMT
Poles Apart
A different name change

That comment from Brian got me thinking. I knew I had heard something about a name change in football. here it is:

Partick Thistle’s John Lambie after Colin McGlashan did not know who he was after suffering concussion

 

‘Tell him he's Pele and get him back on.’



 


2 Comments

Brian Beerman - Old Colony F.C. - August 11th - 17:27:49
Haha, nice quote
Ellis Simpson - Elana Torun - August 10th - 02:49:44
For you youngsters out there, before Messi and Maradona, there was Pele.
Ellis Simpson
Elana Torun


August 8th
02:44:28 GMT
Poles Apart
Name Change?

How can I change the club name? I am thinking of something modern, up to date, and more accurately reflecting where we are. Something like "Elana Nil".


2 Comments

Ellis Simpson - Elana Torun - August 10th - 02:48:04
It was a joke... honest. If I thought a name change would work, however...
Brian Beerman - Old Colony F.C. - August 8th - 10:30:24
Ellis, you'd have to petition Adam to make that sort of change. I imagine it would not happen during the season,
but during preseason.
Ellis Simpson
Elana Torun


August 8th
02:42:53 GMT
Poles Apart
Where can I buy me some enduring aggression?

Our performance against Chelsea Old Boys was OK, until dissipating energy reduced our offensive capability to the point that we were no longer a threat. Obviously I am doing something badly wrong, but am not sure exactly what. When I try substitutions, they don't work. When I try without substitutions that doesn't work. Is there some kind of zen state that is neither with nor without?


0 Comments

Ellis Simpson
Elana Torun


August 8th
02:38:22 GMT
Poles Apart
West Coast Raiders Win First Trophy

The 'Let's not be at the bottom of the table' trophy, that is. Another 1-0 loss. Another game where we have the right offense, but not enough result. I'm open to suggestions as to whether the best course of action is to hack the random number generator, or to give up.


2 Comments

Adam Meney - Sitan Dama - August 9th - 06:52:32
Just in case Mr Dewar is too humble to tell
you himself. There is already a trophy on
his mantelpiece.... A rather coveted one.
Stewart Miller - Teddybears F.C. - August 8th - 08:31:23
You've had some bad luck with the RNG. I've sent you a private message with a few
thoughts. Keep Believing, Ellis.
Ellis Simpson
Elana Torun


August 8th
02:36:29 GMT
Poles Apart
When will our season start?

I mean four games, no points, and only one goal scored? Does not look good, and that is an understatement considering the poor squad we are going to have to send out for the next few games. 


0 Comments

Stewart Miller
Teddybears F.C.


August 7th
11:32:12 GMT
The Bear Essentials
Issue 85: Could Have Happened To Anybody?

Welcome Gaffer, The Gers find themselves top of the table as we move into the group stage of cup qualification. You must be delighted.

 

"Aye, it's a nice change as we usually find ourselves in the bottom three at this stage! We had three points last season and two the season before when the cup break came around. It's good to be able to concentrate on the cup without having to worry about potential relegation issues!"

 

The Bears are happy with the team's results, Gaffer, but there have been some concerns expressed about your recent....err...shall we say, aberrations? Some doubts have been expressed about the state of your mental health.

 

"Whit? Is somebody saying I'm going bonkers? Well, that's just not right, not at all! Where's all that comin from?"

 

Well, there was the issue with your half-time substitution against Villians. Van Bronckhorst for Spackman in MF, a like-for-like change so everybody thought, but Gio goes in at left back. Of course, the MRP won't allow a 5-1-4 formation so it moved Vidmar to MF which caused us to fall foul of the balance rule thereby destroying our OFF. We lost 34 OFF levels and 5% possession because of that...aberration.

 

"Aye, just a wee mistake with my typing. Could have happened to anybody....."

 

Well possibly, but what about Saturday's game when you took off Greig in the second half when we were 4-0 up. It was obvious that Greigy wasn't happy and that he was pleading not to be taken off. That cost him his "Leader" SL rise.

 

"Aye well, it's the first time I've had a 'Leader' in my squad, so I thought it functioned just like the 'Captain'. Could have happened to anybody. Doesn't mean I'm goin bonkers."

 

Well, how about that Blog you posted about multi-positional players not usually being eligible for SCs?

 

"Just another wee mistake. I was thinking about MAs not being eligible for the Anchorman and Playmaker SCs. that was all. Nothing to be worried about. Could have happened to anybody"

 

Maybe, Gaffer, but it's obvious from the phone-ins that The Bears are worried, and if The Bears are worried then it's likely The Board will be worried too.

 

"No no, I can assure everybody that everything will be okay. I've been under a wee bit of stress recently with all our wheeling and dealing....players coming and going.....you know....it's a difficult time for a manager. Things will be okay. It won't be a problem from now on."

 

Let's hope so, Gaffer, for everybody's sake!

 

Till next time..................Follow follow, Bears, to all these neutral venues for our cup qualifiers!


1 Comments

Ellis Simpson - Elana Torun - August 8th - 02:35:13
So your season got better after a bad start previously? I wish that were a good
omen for Elana.
Richard Burnett
Inbhir Narainn


August 7th
07:36:02 GMT
Gurn From Nurn
League Start

Loving the look of the league table at the moment, 2 points clear at the top after the first 4 games. Was a tough opening run of games thats only going to get tougher after the cup games are finished, MVV and ORP. Hopefully we can carry our league form into the cup and have a game to spare for qualifying to have a wee lie down before we face some of the managers finest.

Mon the NURN.


0 Comments

Ellis Simpson
Elana Torun


August 3rd
04:48:00 GMT
Poles Apart
A new start

Let's pretend the first two games didn't happen. Let's pretend the first session didn't count. Let's pretend that this session is the real start to our season. So, what do we have to look forward to? Games against West Coast and Chelsea. Surely we can get something out of these...


1 Comments

Roy Rolsten - St Pauli Pirates - August 3rd - 21:23:54
Top in T-11 and T-16 for Evo Div 2 and with the youngest squad - it's got to be your
season Ellis
Sergei Gavino
Gotham Villains


August 1st
07:20:25 GMT
The Blackgate Gazette
A good start

"Not bad", says everybody in Gotham. The start of the Villains, with 4 points in 2 matches, as the leaders, has been better than expected for a team who was starting the season with some of its stars suspended due to the late cards of last season.

It's the first season in the top Evolution division for the Villains, who arrived with a 3rd division championship, and silverware in the 2nd division. Some people think if they can match Colin Scott performance last season. "We won't" says manager Sergei. "We haven't got a squad to win the league. But we can aim to finish in the first half of the table".

Star Slade Wilson, who will make his 1st division debut in the next match, after a suspension, said "This is a season to enjoy, and build a team for the 1st division. We need to grow slowly but strongly, and maybe in some years we will be able to fight for a title. Right now, is not our goal".


0 Comments

Les Lithgo
Newkie Illuminati


July 30th
19:38:16 GMT
The Enlightened
Indifferent Start for Illiminati

 

The Teddy's were quick to uncover the soft underbelly of the Newkie side. The home crowd leaving dejected after seeing their side demolished 3-0 with Gazza at the heart of the Scots teams dominance.

A trip to Gotham is never an easy game so expectations were fairly low. in the 2nd game.. and after just half an hour the Illuminati were trailing 2-0 and looking at another long miserable trip home. But then Johnny Beresford stepped up to become surprise provider. Three assists from the defender with new boy Ben Arfa, Keegan and Asprilla taking the credits.

It's a win that has lifted spirits and expectations somewhat... with no side having 100% record after just two matches this could be a very interesting season indeed. 


1 Comments

Brian Beerman - Old Colony F.C. - July 31st - 22:16:30
Those Teddy's are quick and vicious.
Ellis Simpson
Elana Torun


July 30th
03:33:54 GMT
Poles Apart
Make that a double!

Second league game of the season, first at home, and we once more concede a 1-0 result against the run of play. Unbelievable. I mean, it's not like we can blame the referee. Here's hoping the double whammy of two defeats is only a temporary blip. 


0 Comments

Ellis Simpson
Elana Torun


July 30th
03:32:09 GMT
Poles Apart
And we're off to a losing start!

First game of the new season, away to Colorado, and we get mugged 1-0, losing to their only bloody shot. Our four shots with none on target must be a record. Not great. 


0 Comments

Lee Jason Elkins
Weymouth Black Death


July 28th
10:24:11 GMT
The Weymouth Tide
Dizzying Heights

Black Death in the top flight?! Many people said it would never happen but by some fluke and a staunch defence we're there! Unfortunately we're many pundits' choice to go down. Hopefully we can muster enough gusto to put up a fight, first test tonight. Go the 'Muff!

1 Comments

Adam Meney - Sitan Dama - August 4th - 10:32:01
Hey, best of Luck with the season Lee. Going well so far!!
Ellis Simpson
Elana Torun


July 27th
02:44:44 GMT
Poles Apart
Evolution Two - Winner?

So, since we are not going to win the league, who will?

Chelsea?

Glasgow?

Montevideo?

I don't have a clue. It would be good, for purely emotional reasons, for Glasgow to win. Would anyone else like to share their thoughts on who the likely winners will be?


1 Comments

Les Lithgo - Newkie Illuminati - July 30th - 19:21:18
Can't rule out the Dutch Masters...
Ellis Simpson
Elana Torun


July 27th
02:40:27 GMT
Poles Apart
The new season

So, we missed the off season. What does the 'on' season have for us.

We start with an away trip to Colorado. Their squad looks OK, and not too daunting. (Doubtless I am missing something.) Given our poor away form, we cannot be too optimistic, but will be trying to get something out of the game.

Our first home game of the session is against Villa. Their squad is about on a par, too, so the home advanatge may well be the difference. A home win would be good...


0 Comments

Ellis Simpson
Elana Torun


July 27th
02:35:35 GMT
Poles Apart
You never call, you never write

I know this is a voluntary operation, but for some reason I expected a common or garden email to let me know that things were up and running. I didn't get one, so now my plans are a mess, have to be scrapped, and something new cobbled together. It won't be pretty, and I doubt it will be effective. Trials. Tribulations. Torment.


2 Comments

Ellis Simpson - Elana Torun - July 28th - 11:28:10
Adam, it may have turned out for the best. I put together a new plan for world
domination...
Adam Meney - Sitan Dama - July 28th - 08:31:08
Sorry Ellis, see my email and let me know what your preseason was going to be
and Ill make the adjustments. Same goes for everyone.
Stewart Miller
Teddybears F.C.


July 26th
09:39:52 GMT
The Bear Essentials
Youth Seasoning & Friendlies

Many thanks for the great response to my poll. I will attempt to allay some of the fears expressed at my suggestion and provide a bit more insight into the reasoning behind my suggestion.

 

As I said previously I was attempting to suggest a way of making friendlies more attractive. There were only between 9 and 11 friendlies in each of the pre-season sessions. My own view is that currently friendlies serve only two purposes:

 

1) Give new managers the opportunity to try out the ordering system (we don't have many of these unfortunately)

 

2) Give managers the opportunity to confirm that their SC players contribute as expected.

 

A number of managers stated that friendlies give them the opportunity to try out new tactics, etc. I would dispute that. The MRP is heavily influenced by chance so you could win a game comfortably, replay that game, and lose it badly. The only reliable statistic from the match process is the percentage possession figures which you could calculate yourself without having to play a game. The formulae can all be found in the rules.

 

One of the main objections to introducing youth seasoning through friendlies was that it made the seasoning process easier. That could be readily resolved by increasing the number of minutes required to fully season a player. Personally I would prefer the option where youth players would gain a third of a seasoning minute for each friendly played, i.e. three friendlies completed would be equivalent to 90 seasoning minutes. Outfield players would now require to play 1170 minutes to fully season and GKs 810 minutes.

 

A number of managers pointed out the importance of developing youth players through the ranks. This pre-season only 21 out of our 60 clubs have signed youth players. Perhaps the above idea would encourage more to do so.

 

The possibility of teams missing friendly opportunities because they were still involved in cup competition was raised. Personally I would far rather be involved in cup games than friendlies but if a manager preferred to play in friendlies then he could attempt to throw his cup game, assuming the MRP would cooperate of course, which should not be taken for granted!


8 Comments

Ellis Simpson - Elana Torun - July 27th - 02:33:07
Friendlies hardly seem worth the effort, especially given the difficulty in
arranging them. Well, in my experience...
Brian Beerman - Old Colony F.C. - July 26th - 14:30:56
Friendlies may one day lead to a dream of mine: a World Cup.
David King - Unsporting Lisbon - July 26th - 11:28:31
..and a minor one at that.
They're just a nice little extra. There's no reason to make them part of the serious games.
David King - Unsporting Lisbon - July 26th - 11:25:09
I think you're right that free seasoning would encourage early youth purchase and participation in friendlies.
But there's no reason to aim for larger participation in them. They're a recent extra.
Richard Burnett - Inbhir Narainn - July 26th - 10:10:26
even the teams that can afford have a choice to make, chance their luck in the
auction for a 5/24 MA or buy a 0/6 MA.
Richard Burnett - Inbhir Narainn - July 26th - 10:09:35
i normally scrape the 2000k to buy 50CP, and then wait for a few games to buy
my 2 youth players i take through every season. (without checking) i would
assume a lot of clubs actually cant afford youth
Richard Burnett - Inbhir Narainn - July 26th - 10:07:15
your idea would potentially encourage extra purchase of youth during pre-
season, to benefit from the friendly game time but the total numbers would
probably even out.
Stewart Miller - Teddybears F.C. - July 26th - 09:59:45
Forgot to add third benefit of pre-season friendlies: provide about 18K.
Brian Beerman
Old Colony F.C.


July 24th
16:52:51 GMT
Old Colony Tap
Longbaugh Hangs 'Em Up

Scotsman Longbaugh Announces Retirement.

 

Old Colony star Longbaugh unexpectedly announced his retirement this morning after the teams preseason workout. The Scottish midfield-attacker played eight seasons with the Quaffers, joining the senior squad before season 30. While never a league leading super star, Longbaugh did prove to be a top player for his side over the last eight years. He lead his team in division goals four consecutive seasons (31-34), scored 19 goals in cup competition, and earned the Division One Bronze Boot during season 33. Longbaugh unfortunately also earned the Division Three Hardman of the Year award last season, an award some fans saw as a sign of decline in playing ability.

 

Despite significantly less playing time last season, most fans of the club expected Longbaugh to return for at least one more run at a division title. Fans and analysts are trying to decipher what this move means for the current season that opens in only four days. With the addition of two forwards between last season and this preseason, some speculate the club is moving toward a more aggressive attacking style and away from the previous stout midfield model. Either way, the departure of a fan favorite is seen as a loss for the team. An official press release by Longbaugh states:

 

"I am sorry to say my time playing professional football is at an end. First, I want to thank Old Colony ownership, coaching staff, medical staff, grounds crew, and everyone else who made each game at Etemereg and on the road memorable. Secondaly, I want to thank my teammates over the years, as each of you pushed me to work harder every time we took to the pitch. I am proud of all we accomplished over the last few seasons. Finally, I want to thank Old Colony fans. There is no other club I would choose to play for. Quaffers fans are the best in the world: they make you feel like family during the triumphs, and they pick you up like family does after the losses. I look forward to coming back to Etemereg to watch great football over the coming years. Thank you."

 

Longbaugh retires at number six on the All-Time Top Ten Appearances list (226 appearances), and fifth in total minutes played (16900). His 64 goals ties him for second most in club history.

 

Enjoy retirement, Mr Longbaugh. You've earned it.

 

Cheers!!


1 Comments

Adam Meney - Sitan Dama - July 25th - 17:19:29
That is a fantastic career!
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