Club History

Founding of the Club

Guff Wanderers were born at The Duff Stadium in 1995 to much screaming, joy, tears and drugs, as would be expected from any birth. The club was destined for mediocrity, and who better take them there than a middle of the road manager. Michael Sherlock had already proven himself "merely adequate" at minnows Real Subbuteo and then gone to show he was "probably competent" at eternal no-hopers Dinamo Kosmos, and so was clearly the best man to take the Wanderers to the middle of the table. The club entered the UK Super League competition where for four seasons they were largely ignored and overlooked: not so much also-rans, more also-walked, with little chance of finishing. Then disaster struck as the club slipped into administration and collapsed. The members of the board vanished as if they had been nothing more than imaginary figures and Manager Sherlock fled the country, with possible sightings reported in California, Spain, Greece and the pub.

Rebirth of the Contenders

In 2001 Guff re-emerged from the wreckage of the 90s to become one of the Founding Eight teams in The Manager. This time they were determined to struggle against adversity and aim for success. It was therefore a great surprise to many when Michael Sherlock broke his self-imposed exile and was re-appointed as Manager. But despite carrying the weight of a blighted history, a name that demanded ridicule and a clueless manager, the team marched through to finish second in the league, narrowly losing to Sitan Dama. Learning from these lessons the club pushed on through the next two seasons, with good showings in the league and a runners-up place in the inaugural John Brown Cup. Season 4 was primed to be the season of the Guff. Resources and time were fed into the squad and a huge effort was made to surge on to glory. In the very last week of the season The Wanderers faced Leyton Orient twice: the first game would decide the league, the second was the K.O. Cup final. Guff were the better club, had the better plan and the better manager. It was a foregone conclusion. Tragically, with the help of the superhuman utility player Omigod, Orient won both games. The Wanderers would continue to compete over the next few seasons but would never fully recover from this blow.

Tinkering in the Wilderness

Perhaps it was a glint of genius or perhaps the double defeat at the end of season 4 had caused madness, but over several seasons Manager Sherlock experimented with radical tactics. The first setup saw the squad eliminate all of its midfield players and rely entirely on wingers as playmakers, earning the team the nickname "Guff Wingers". This was a strategy which took the team to their only appearance in the Olmec Cup but ultimately lead to the first ever relegation for the Wanderers at the end of Season 8. The squad then abandoned its youth policy and concentrated on older, more experienced players, but with the seasons increasing in length this eventually proved to be a style that held no success. It had been a long time since the club had challenged for any title and the team were suffering from defeat after defeat, so a new defensive tactic was introduced with the Wanderers becoming the best dead-ball specialists ever seen. Immediately the men from The Duff won promotion back to Division 1 and then, in a cathartic campaign, they lifted the K.O Shield in Season 14.

An End to the Beginning

By Seasons 17 the defeats had been stemmed, a trophy had been won and the name Guff Wanderers could be said aloud with pride. But as The Manager became part of the Olmec Federation changes to the regulations reduced the impact of the defensive strategy the squad had relied upon. The team would once again have to rebuild, but the experimentations were at an end. This time Guff Wanderers were built around a solid youth policy, strong players and active scouting of the transfer market. Spending over 1.4 million on the auction in season 18 Guff bought the clubs future around which the club could grow. A second trophy was not far away, when an underdog performance saw B.S. Heritage defeated in the K.O. final of season 21 and the Wanderers name added to the trophy for second time.

Guff Wanderers Supporters Club

Players will be signed, sold or retired, the strip will change, the badge will change and one day even the manager may change but Guff's dedicated fans never leave. Well, some might, if we get a draw at home, but other than those extreme situations, our loyal fans make the club what it is. If you take a look around the bustling stands at The Duff on any match day you will see all the different sorts of characters that make up the Wanderers faithful support: long-haired old-timers who can remember the campaigns of the Nineties, bare-chested men displaying their middle-age spread, young bearded men wearing pink satin dresses with puffy sleeves and many adolescent lads named Equi. Who are these dedicated and probably deluded individuals? What is their problem? Did they feel pain and humiliation when the Wanderers finished last in all leagues in seasons Eight, Nine and Ten? I still believe the local papers headline at that time "Stuff Wanderers" was uncalled for.

The Hippies

When the Guff was still young and fresh, idling away in its carefree student days, the club attracted young, optimistic fans who wore their hair long and their sandals loose. Today we would call them lazy riff-raff, but back then, in the purple haze of the Nineties, the fans adopted the name of "The Hippies". All too soon the laid back attitude of the fans infected the squad and when legendary goalkeeper, Robbie Green, fell asleep during a penalty kick, the Wanderers management knew their time would soon be up. I still believe the local papers headline at that time "Puff Wanderers" was uncalled for.

The Guffers

In 2001, when the Wanderers were offered a second life in the Olmec league, a new image of the club was projected. It was now the 21st Century and the last thing Guff needed was 21st Century men. No, what the Duff needed to attract was consumers: fans who would buy a home strip every season and an away strip every season and a third strip every season as long as there was a tiny, tiny change to the design. If these fans would also pay for a new hat, scarf, sticker album, cup or saucer, DVD and a TV subscription, then all the better. Manager Sherlock set about designing many of the kit updates himself and developed a suitably evil laugh for the tradition Saturday morning money-counting exercise. These fans became known as "The Guffers" as they dressed head-to-toe in Wanderers merchandise, even if they never went near a match. But eventually, some of the fans started to see themselves as the cash cows they had unwittingly become. This resulted in the famous Naked Protest, when over 15,000 Guff fans disrobed from their replica kits just after the final whistle at an important end of season game. Unfortunately the protest took place during a match against Inter, resulting in confusion in the press as to what actually took place. I still believe the local papers headline at that time "Buff Wanderers" was uncalled for.

The Bridesmaids

Soon, the fans would be christened with yet another name. Guff had finished second in the inaugural Olmec Manager League and then second in the inaugural J.B. Cup competition. The team went on to complete the hat-trick and finished second in the inaugural Knock-Out Shield tournament, resulting in the inevitable nickname "The Bridesmaids". Rather than hide in shame the fans took pride in their new label and the following season a trend began. Grown men wore traditional Bridesmaid dresses to the opening game of the 5th Olmec Manager season. At the next game, more men displayed beards and frilly frocks. By the third game, even some of the women wore dresses, although around the Duff it's pretty hard to tell the difference between them and the men. The wedding party has been a familiar site at Guff Wanderers matches ever since that K.O. Final defeat. I still believe the local papers headline at that time "Wanderers Finish Second" was uncalled for.