Newkie Illuminati (NEI)
CoachLes Lithgo
StadiumZion Fields (40000)
CaptainAlan Shearer
Coaching Points38
One Touch Football1
Morale0.40 (0.00)
LeagueEvolution Division 1: 9th
EstablishedSeason 33 (2015)
NicknameThe Illuminati
Following (Avg)15,902 (29,886)
Club Record
OverallDiv 1
Previous Names
None Recorded
Past Coaches
None Recorded
Trophy Cabinet
Division 1 Runner Up136
Evolution Cup Winner135
Name  (23 Players)PosASLELPU
Shaka Hislop GK321671
Pavel Srnicek GK6201007
Darren Peacock SW424833
Steve Howey SW3161000
Jonathon Woodgate DF120555
John Beresford DF319570
Barry Venison DF517600
Alan Kennedy DF6131000
Marc Hottiger DF2111000
Philippe Albert DF7101000
Steve Watson DF09801
Titus Bramble DM713850
David Ginola MF421830
David Batty MF420660
Hatem Ben Arfa MF1151003
Stewart Barrowclough MF2101000
Tino Asprilla WG222703
Jimmy Smith WG7101000
Kevin Keegan FW323692
Alan Shearer (c)FW520700
Andy Cole FW1191004
Les Ferdinand FW791000
Ivor Allchurch UT216951
Players With Special Abilities
Pavel Srnicek Swansong
David Ginola Playmaker
Alan Shearer Athletic
Unavailable For TradeMatches
Hatem Ben Arfa 5
Team Form
Last 10: lDDdDwL---
Team DPs: 40
Newkie Illuminati are rivals to 1 teams.
Recent Transactions
August 12, 2017
0/8 DF Steve Watson (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
July 2, 2017
1/12 MF Hatem Ben Arfa (Bosman) signs in the draft.
April 6, 2017
0/8 DF Jonathon Woodgate (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
January 11, 2017
0/8 FW Andy Cole (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
1/10 MF Stewart Barrowclough (Bosman) signs in the draft.
August 13, 2016
0/4 DF Marc Hottiger (5k) is promoted to the senior squad.
0/8 WG Tino Asprilla (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
1/11 GK Shaka Hislop (Bosman) signs in the draft.
April 23, 2016
0/8 DF John Beresford (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
March 19, 2016
0/8 FW Kevin Keegan (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
March 14, 2016
1/11 SW Darren Peacock (Bosman) signs in the draft.
November 15, 2015
0/6 MF David Ginola (150k) is promoted to the senior squad.
Team Needs

The games to commence smiley

Season 38 Kit
Next 5 Matches
11 Aug 19 (n)Fulham Evolution Cup
12 Aug 25 (n)Leicester Evolution Cup
13 Aug 26 St Pauli Division 1
14 Sep 01 @Tayside Division 1
15 Sep 02 Orgullo Division 1
Last 10 Matches
10 Aug 18 L1 - 3(n)Glasgow Evolution Cup
9 Aug 12 D1 - 1(n)Chuzhou Evolution Cup
8 Aug 11 D1 - 1(n)Cascadia Evolution Cup
7 Aug 05 D1 - 1@Chuzhou Division 1
6 Aug 04 D0 - 0Villains Division 1
5 Jul 29 W3 - 2@Gotham Division 1
4 Jul 28 L0 - 3Teddys Division 1
About Newkie Illuminati

A mythical, secretive group based in the North East of England. Many, many followers - although sections of the following are disillusioned with the direction the club has taken in recent times. However, they remain loyal, committed and fanatical for the cause.


Current aims are unknown. Rumoured to be awash with funds - but investment has been surprisingly lacking. Insular and not always accepting of 'outsiders'!


The black and white striped uniforms are adorned by the disciples of the club and worn with pride as they travel around the globe in their masses. Rituals include the compulsory imbibing of super-human quanties of local beverage 'newkie broon' - known to give the individuals super-human powers of immortality... at least that's the claim. Rumoured to have slightly intoxicating and potentially adictive qualities - with many suggesting that this is used in a mass mind control experiment to retain the followers loyalty and allegiance.


History books show that success is in the genes. Recently though internal wrangling at the top of the organisation have left the club devoid of focus. It is hoped that the recent appointment of Lithgo in a key position will allow this sleeping giant to start to reach it's potential...

Coach's Bio: Les Lithgo

Geordie boy. Mid-life crisis. Gambling. Eating. Drinking. Work, work, work...


Not quite living the dream... yet!


Think that covers it!

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