Newkie Illuminati (NEI)
CoachLes Lithgo
StadiumZion Fields (40000)
CaptainDavid Ginola
Coaching Points6
One Touch Football1
Morale0.36 (0.03)
LeagueEvolution Division 1: 9th
EstablishedSeason 33 (2015)
NicknameThe Illuminati
Following (Avg)15,718 (28,684)
Club Record
OverallDiv 1
Previous Names
None Recorded
Past Coaches
None Recorded
Trophy Cabinet
Division 1 Runner Up136
Evolution Cup Winner135
Name  (23 Players)PosASLELPU
Shaka Hislop GK428667
Freddie Woodman GK1181007
Darren Peacock SW527427
Steve Howey SW4131000
Jonathon Woodgate DF226717
Steve Watson DF122857
Barry Venison DF618607
John Beresford DF4171000
Marc Hottiger DF3101000
Alan Kennedy DF791000
Liam OBrien DM012806
Titus Bramble DM891000
Hatem Ben Arfa MF224767
David Ginola (c)MF523603
David Batty MF5171000
Stewart Barrowclough MF3101000
Craig Bellamy MA011805
Tino Asprilla WG328577
Lauren Robert WG4171000
Andy Cole FW226737
Kevin Keegan FW420990
Alan Shearer FW617700
Ivor Allchurch UT3171000
Players With Special Abilities
Barry Venison Swansong
Tino Asprilla Passer
David Ginola Playmaker
Alan Shearer Athletic
Unavailable For TradeMatches
Freddie Woodman 1
Team Form
Last 10: dlLdLwlWWd
MVP: dlL
Team DPs: 90
Newkie Illuminati are rivals to 2 teams.
Recent Transactions
March 23, 2018
0/6 MA Craig Bellamy (150k) is promoted to the senior squad.
March 9, 2018
0/6 DM Liam OBrien (150k) is promoted to the senior squad.
February 4, 2018
1/11 GK Freddie Woodman (Bosman) signs in the draft.
August 12, 2017
0/8 DF Steve Watson (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
July 2, 2017
1/12 MF Hatem Ben Arfa (Bosman) signs in the draft.
April 6, 2017
0/8 DF Jonathon Woodgate (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
January 11, 2017
0/8 FW Andy Cole (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
1/10 MF Stewart Barrowclough (Bosman) signs in the draft.
August 13, 2016
0/4 DF Marc Hottiger (5k) is promoted to the senior squad.
0/8 WG Tino Asprilla (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
1/11 GK Shaka Hislop (Bosman) signs in the draft.
April 23, 2016
0/8 DF John Beresford (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
Team Needs

The games to commence smiley

Season 39 Kit
Next 5 Matches
25 Apr 27 (n)West Coast The Manager Cup
26 Apr 28 (n)Unsporting The Manager Cup
27 May 04 (n)Orpington The Manager Cup
28 May 05 Glasgow Division 1
29 May 11 West Coast Division 1
Last 10 Matches
24 Apr 21 D1 - 1(n)Clarendon The Manager Cup
23 Apr 20 L0 - 4(n)Spartick The Manager Cup
22 Apr 18 L1 - 2(n)Teddys Evolution Cup
21 Apr 14 D1 - 1@Spartick Division 1
20 Apr 13 L0 - 1St Pauli Division 1
19 Apr 11 W1 - 0(n)Fulham Evolution Cup
18 Apr 07 L0 - 2@Asteria Division 1
17 Apr 06 W3 - 0Sorukoviso Division 1
16 Apr 03 W3 - 0(n)Adelaidonians Evolution Cup
15 Mar 31 D0 - 0@Queens Division 1
About Newkie Illuminati

A mythical, secretive group based in the North East of England. Many, many followers - although sections of the following are disillusioned with the direction the club has taken in recent times. However, they remain loyal, committed and fanatical for the cause.


Current aims are unknown. Rumoured to be awash with funds - but investment has been surprisingly lacking. Insular and not always accepting of 'outsiders'!


The black and white striped uniforms are adorned by the disciples of the club and worn with pride as they travel around the globe in their masses. Rituals include the compulsory imbibing of super-human quanties of local beverage 'newkie broon' - known to give the individuals super-human powers of immortality... at least that's the claim. Rumoured to have slightly intoxicating and potentially adictive qualities - with many suggesting that this is used in a mass mind control experiment to retain the followers loyalty and allegiance.


History books show that success is in the genes. Recently though internal wrangling at the top of the organisation have left the club devoid of focus. It is hoped that the recent appointment of Lithgo in a key position will allow this sleeping giant to start to reach it's potential...

Coach's Bio: Les Lithgo

Geordie boy. Mid-life crisis. Gambling. Eating. Drinking. Work, work, work...


Not quite living the dream... yet!


Think that covers it!

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