Newkie Illuminati (NEI)
CoachLes Lithgo
StadiumZion Fields (40000)
CaptainPavel Srnicek
Coaching Points0
One Touch Football1
Morale0.60 (0.07)
LeagueEvolution Division 1: 9th
EstablishedSeason 33 (2015)
NicknameThe Illuminati
Following (Avg)26,738 (24,384)
Club Record
OverallDiv 1
Previous Names
None Recorded
Past Coaches
None Recorded
Trophy Cabinet
Division 1 Runner Up136
Evolution Cup Winner135
Name  (25 Players)PosASLELPU
Shaka Hislop GK224557
Pavel Srnicek (c)GK5201000
Darren Peacock SW327497
Steve Howey SW2191003
John Beresford DF223554
Barry Venison DF421491
Alan Kennedy DF5171000
Jonathon Woodgate DF015997
Philippe Albert DF6141000
Geoff Nulty DF7131000
Marc Hottiger DF1111000
Titus Bramble DM619800
David Ginola MF327497
David Batty MF326495
Terry McDermott MF623400
Paul Gascoigne MF8111000
Stewart Barrowclough MF1101000
Tino Asprilla WG122467
Jimmy Smith WG6151000
Alan Shearer FW428-317
Kevin Keegan FW226477
Andy Cole FW0151007
Les Ferdinand FW6131000
Malcolm Macdonald FW7101000
Ivor Allchurch UT1161004
Players With Special Abilities
Terry McDermott Swansong
Alan Shearer Athletic
Unavailable For TradeMatches
Stewart Barrowclough 8
Titus Bramble 1
Team Form
Last 10: wWllWlWwDd
MVP: wWl
Team DPs: 178
Newkie Illuminati are rivals to 3 teams.
Recent Transactions
April 22, 2017
Auction 6: Acquired Titus Bramble 6/19 DM.
April 6, 2017
0/8 DF Jonathon Woodgate (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
January 11, 2017
0/8 FW Andy Cole (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
1/10 MF Stewart Barrowclough (Bosman) signs in the draft.
August 13, 2016
0/4 DF Marc Hottiger (5k) is promoted to the senior squad.
0/8 WG Tino Asprilla (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
1/11 GK Shaka Hislop (Bosman) signs in the draft.
April 23, 2016
0/8 DF John Beresford (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
March 19, 2016
0/8 FW Kevin Keegan (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
March 14, 2016
1/11 SW Darren Peacock (Bosman) signs in the draft.
November 15, 2015
0/6 MF David Ginola (150k) is promoted to the senior squad.
October 15, 2015
1/10 DF Barry Venison (Bosman) signs in the draft.
Team Needs

The games to commence smiley

Season 37 Kit
Next 5 Matches
Last 10 Matches
43 Jun 01 W3 - 1(n)Glasgow EvolutionPlayoffs
42 May 27 W2 - 0Fulham Division 1
41 May 26 L1 - 3@Gotham Division 1
39 May 20 L0 - 1@Spartick Division 1
38 May 19 W5 - 0Glasgow Division 1
37 May 16 W1 - 0@Leicester Friendly Match
36 May 13 L1 - 4@Tayside Division 1
35 May 12 W3 - 1Asteria Division 1
33 May 06 W3 - 1@Cascadia Division 1
32 May 05 D0 - 0West Coast Division 1
About Newkie Illuminati

A mythical, secretive group based in the North East of England. Many, many followers - although sections of the following are disillusioned with the direction the club has taken in recent times. However, they remain loyal, committed and fanatical for the cause.


Current aims are unknown. Rumoured to be awash with funds - but investment has been surprisingly lacking. Insular and not always accepting of 'outsiders'!


The black and white striped uniforms are adorned by the disciples of the club and worn with pride as they travel around the globe in their masses. Rituals include the compulsory imbibing of super-human quanties of local beverage 'newkie broon' - known to give the individuals super-human powers of immortality... at least that's the claim. Rumoured to have slightly intoxicating and potentially adictive qualities - with many suggesting that this is used in a mass mind control experiment to retain the followers loyalty and allegiance.


History books show that success is in the genes. Recently though internal wrangling at the top of the organisation have left the club devoid of focus. It is hoped that the recent appointment of Lithgo in a key position will allow this sleeping giant to start to reach it's potential...

Coach's Bio: Les Lithgo

Geordie boy. Mid-life crisis. Gambling. Eating. Drinking. Work, work, work...


Not quite living the dream... yet!


Think that covers it!

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