Newkie Illuminati (NEI)
CoachLes Lithgo
StadiumZion Fields (40000)
CaptainKevin Keegan
Coaching Points0
One Touch Football1
Morale0.37 (0.05)
LeagueEvolution Division 1: 10th
EstablishedSeason 33 (2015)
NicknameThe Illuminati
Following (Avg)16,650 (31,003)
Club Record
OverallDiv 1
Previous Names
None Recorded
Past Coaches
None Recorded
Trophy Cabinet
Division 1 Runner Up136
Evolution Cup Winner135
Name  (22 Players)PosASLELPU
Shaka Hislop GK530845
Freddie Woodman GK224857
Darren Peacock SW624577
Steve Howey SW5111000
Bjorn Kristensen SD013807
Jonathon Woodgate DF327666
Steve Watson DF226707
Kevin Scott DF117996
John Beresford DF514930
Marc Hottiger DF491000
Liam OBrien DM120707
Hatem Ben Arfa MF325665
David Ginola MF6171000
David Batty MF6131000
Craig Bellamy MA120707
Jonas Gutierrez MA0131007
Tino Asprilla WG427667
Lauren Robert WG5141000
Andy Cole FW328637
Kevin Keegan (c)FW5191001
Alan Shearer FW7121000
Ivor Allchurch UT417750
Players With Special Abilities
Shaka Hislop Maverick
Darren Peacock Swansong
Tino Asprilla Passer
David Ginola Playmaker
Alan Shearer Athletic
Unavailable For TradeMatches
Team Form
Last 10: dDlLlDwDww
MVP: dDl
Team DPs: 154
Newkie Illuminati are rivals to 1 teams.
Recent Transactions
August 12, 2018
0/6 MA Jonas Gutierrez (150k) is promoted to the senior squad.
0/6 SD Bjorn Kristensen (150k) is promoted to the senior squad.
1/11 DF Kevin Scott (Bosman) signs in the draft.
March 23, 2018
0/6 MA Craig Bellamy (150k) is promoted to the senior squad.
March 9, 2018
0/6 DM Liam OBrien (150k) is promoted to the senior squad.
February 4, 2018
1/11 GK Freddie Woodman (Bosman) signs in the draft.
August 12, 2017
0/8 DF Steve Watson (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
July 2, 2017
1/12 MF Hatem Ben Arfa (Bosman) signs in the draft.
April 6, 2017
0/8 DF Jonathon Woodgate (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
January 11, 2017
0/8 FW Andy Cole (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
1/10 MF Stewart Barrowclough (Bosman) signs in the draft.
August 13, 2016
0/4 DF Marc Hottiger (5k) is promoted to the senior squad.
Team Needs

The games to commence smiley

Season 40 Kit
Next 5 Matches
38 Dec 14 Spartick Division 1
39 Dec 15 @Sorukoviso Division 1
41 Dec 21 @Chelsea Division 1
42 Dec 22 Villains Division 1
44 Dec 28 (n)Teddys Evolution Cup
Last 10 Matches
36 Dec 08 D0 - 0@Orgullo Division 1
35 Dec 07 D1 - 1Leicester Division 1
33 Dec 01 L1 - 4@Glasgow Division 1
32 Nov 30 L1 - 4Teddys Division 1
31 Nov 27 L0 - 2(n)St Pauli The Manager Cup
30 Nov 24 D0 - 0St Pauli Division 1
29 Nov 23 W2 - 0@Cascadia Division 1
28 Nov 17 D1 - 1Colorado Division 1
27 Nov 16 W2 - 1(n)Kendyminster The Manager Cup
26 Nov 10 W1 - 0(n)Birmingham The Manager Cup
About Newkie Illuminati

A mythical, secretive group based in the North East of England. Many, many followers - although sections of the following are disillusioned with the direction the club has taken in recent times. However, they remain loyal, committed and fanatical for the cause.


Current aims are unknown. Rumoured to be awash with funds - but investment has been surprisingly lacking. Insular and not always accepting of 'outsiders'!


The black and white striped uniforms are adorned by the disciples of the club and worn with pride as they travel around the globe in their masses. Rituals include the compulsory imbibing of super-human quanties of local beverage 'newkie broon' - known to give the individuals super-human powers of immortality... at least that's the claim. Rumoured to have slightly intoxicating and potentially adictive qualities - with many suggesting that this is used in a mass mind control experiment to retain the followers loyalty and allegiance.


History books show that success is in the genes. Recently though internal wrangling at the top of the organisation have left the club devoid of focus. It is hoped that the recent appointment of Lithgo in a key position will allow this sleeping giant to start to reach it's potential...

Coach's Bio: Les Lithgo

Geordie boy. Mid-life crisis. Gambling. Eating. Drinking. Work, work, work...


Not quite living the dream... yet!


Think that covers it!

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