Newkie Illuminati (NEI)
CoachLes Lithgo
StadiumZion Fields (40000)
CaptainAlan Shearer
Coaching Points0
One Touch Football1
Morale0.64 (0.00)
LeagueEvolution Division 1: 4th
EstablishedSeason 33 (2015)
NicknameThe Illuminati
Following (Avg)25,744 (29,506)
Club Record
OverallDiv 1
Previous Names
None Recorded
Past Coaches
None Recorded
Trophy Cabinet
Division 1 Runner Up136
Evolution Cup Winner135
Name  (23 Players)PosASLELPU
Shaka Hislop GK327-97
Pavel Srnicek GK6201007
Darren Peacock SW428687
Steve Howey SW3161000
Jonathon Woodgate DF122297
John Beresford DF321342
Barry Venison DF5171000
Steve Watson DF0151007
Alan Kennedy DF6131000
Marc Hottiger DF2111000
Philippe Albert DF7101000
Titus Bramble DM7131000
David Ginola MF428487
David Batty MF421341
Hatem Ben Arfa MF119857
Stewart Barrowclough MF2101000
Tino Asprilla WG226457
Lauren Robert WG321830
Kevin Keegan FW328557
Alan Shearer (c)FW5231003
Andy Cole FW122607
Les Ferdinand FW791000
Ivor Allchurch UT220615
Players With Special Abilities
Pavel Srnicek Swansong
David Ginola Playmaker
Alan Shearer Athletic
Unavailable For TradeMatches
Team Form
Last 10: lWwDwWldLW
MVP: lWw
Team DPs: 220
Newkie Illuminati are rivals to 1 teams.
Recent Transactions
September 23, 2017
Auction 4: Acquired Lauren Robert 3/21 WG.
August 12, 2017
0/8 DF Steve Watson (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
July 2, 2017
1/12 MF Hatem Ben Arfa (Bosman) signs in the draft.
April 6, 2017
0/8 DF Jonathon Woodgate (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
January 11, 2017
0/8 FW Andy Cole (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
1/10 MF Stewart Barrowclough (Bosman) signs in the draft.
August 13, 2016
0/4 DF Marc Hottiger (5k) is promoted to the senior squad.
0/8 WG Tino Asprilla (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
1/11 GK Shaka Hislop (Bosman) signs in the draft.
April 23, 2016
0/8 DF John Beresford (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
March 19, 2016
0/8 FW Kevin Keegan (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
March 14, 2016
1/11 SW Darren Peacock (Bosman) signs in the draft.
Team Needs

The games to commence smiley

Season 38 Kit
Next 5 Matches
Last 10 Matches
42 Nov 25 L1 - 2@Asteria Division 1
41 Nov 24 W1 - 0Spartick Division 1
39 Nov 18 W3 - 1@Leicester Division 1
38 Nov 17 D1 - 1Sorukoviso Division 1
36 Nov 11 W3 - 0@Orgullo Division 1
35 Nov 10 W3 - 1Tayside Division 1
34 Nov 07 L1 - 4(n)Unsporting The Manager Cup
33 Nov 04 D1 - 1@St Pauli Division 1
32 Nov 03 L1 - 2Chuzhou Division 1
31 Oct 31 W2 - 0(n)Villa The Manager Cup
About Newkie Illuminati

A mythical, secretive group based in the North East of England. Many, many followers - although sections of the following are disillusioned with the direction the club has taken in recent times. However, they remain loyal, committed and fanatical for the cause.


Current aims are unknown. Rumoured to be awash with funds - but investment has been surprisingly lacking. Insular and not always accepting of 'outsiders'!


The black and white striped uniforms are adorned by the disciples of the club and worn with pride as they travel around the globe in their masses. Rituals include the compulsory imbibing of super-human quanties of local beverage 'newkie broon' - known to give the individuals super-human powers of immortality... at least that's the claim. Rumoured to have slightly intoxicating and potentially adictive qualities - with many suggesting that this is used in a mass mind control experiment to retain the followers loyalty and allegiance.


History books show that success is in the genes. Recently though internal wrangling at the top of the organisation have left the club devoid of focus. It is hoped that the recent appointment of Lithgo in a key position will allow this sleeping giant to start to reach it's potential...

Coach's Bio: Les Lithgo

Geordie boy. Mid-life crisis. Gambling. Eating. Drinking. Work, work, work...


Not quite living the dream... yet!


Think that covers it!

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